Hanging on by a string: Life isn't always romantic, sometimes it is broken.

the UN-VALENTINE'S DAY: Hanging on by a string.

Disclaimer:
I know 2.14 is a "HAPPY" day of celebration focused on love. This post is for my dearly loved friends who are struggling to find a reason to celebrate today.

How sweet life can be. Pure, unadulterated joy experienced for...well, a few days anyway, right? Life can be so full of fun + laughter. Days also pass by that seem to have no substance in particular. Seasons where all we can muster is to barely go through the motions. One day goes into another day...and so on...and so on.  Then- there are the days we feel as if we are being swallowed up whole. Something has been silently lurking behind us, trailing, just waiting to seize us. Leaving us disoriented and in complete shock. 

Lately, I have been witnessing these shocking moments happen in many lives around me. People I love dearly seem to have a big target on their backs with painful life situations hitting them spot on, time and time again. Wha??? What is going on? This is crazy. 

My phone rings: I nearly drop to the floor with the shocking news from a loved one. 

You've got mail:  another message from a friend, again I am numbed by the news. 

Run into a friend: "You are kidding me - spouse is leaving you?" I am almost beside myself now. 

FB:  WOW - did you just post that on your wall? Wait  - what??? A family member just died? 

As I write this I am still in disbelief. It has me feeling like I am spinning because these stories just cannot be a reality. They are topics for those crazy blockbuster movies or sappy novels. They are the tragic life stories speakers talk about. These are not topics for everyday conversations with friends, who I LOVE! This just can't be our daily life. And...yet it is.

No matter how hard we try to set our lives up for the sweep you off your feet romance, happy ever after ending. It just won't be that. At least not that alone and by itself. It simply can't be left at just that. In reality, let's face the facts, there is an enemy prowling around and he is in for the kill. He seeks to wound - he seeks to destroy. He knows where our weak spots are and he is a good aim. So how likely is it we can manage a life full of happy, go-lucky, times without experiencing pain now and then? The scale is tipped unfavorably against us. Or is it? 

I think part of the real joy in life happens when we face desperate times. There is something beautiful about the raw emotion of pain. It opens up our desperation for a true loving God to ride in on his white horse and rescue us. It allows us to need the strength and support of our friend's prayers holding us up. It erases all forms of pride and leaves us in a place of humility. Transparency is all that is left to offer because the energy to put up a front is not within our ability. We are what we are - and that is beautiful. 

I am not saying I find joy in seeing people hurt, I certainly don't. It honestly hurts my heart deeply to see my friends feeling broken and wounded.  I am saying I find joy in seeing people seek a brutally honest relationship with Christ - and frequently that honest of a relationship only comes in the midst of brokenness. (At least I have found this true of me) Through that broken situation being taken to Christ, the process of redemption begins. The story of hope is woven throughout the broken pieces and draws them back together into a beautiful new creation. Something BEAUTIFUL can be born out of brokenness. It doesn't mean that situation was any less shattered, it just provides an opportunity for something different to be built out of that brokenness.  

The problem is, in the thick of what broke, it comes easy to become consumed by pain. Pain has a way of hitting us so furiously that we are left in complete shock: blindsided and numb. Right here is where our brain is excellent with disassociation skills. We disconnect because it is "JUST TOO HARD." We numb, we soothe, we cope enough to be able to take in oxygen and breathe it out, and that may be all we can achieve in this space.

After the initial hit, it can take us some time to focus on what it was that hit us, and figure out how to best move forward from here. Often, there are cuts and bruises that need some tending to. Our natural responses to cope or move forward will often be ones that were built-in through our past broken (probably not a great idea, usually our childlike responses offer us the quickest fix, not best practice) + leave us spinning in place, or creating more damage. We may need to learn some new techniques to help us slow down our natural responses and allow us some time to process through it better.  This takes practice, it requires some reflection + some deep self-evaluation. There are some great questions you can ask yourself + techniques you can practice to help with this. (I'll have another post up on this and will post it below. )

Whatever you do, don't let pain debilitate you to a place of further destruction. Rather than having it knock you down to stay - let it be the starting ground for new growth. See it, feel it, honor it... and then grow through it. Brokenness that is redeemed to something beautiful is attractive to others. Before you know it you will be sharing your story. What once seemed to have you bound, knocked down, will be the very thing that God used to show you his AMAZING process of Redeeming Love. Trust me - you won't want to miss it!

Be well,